The power of identifying with your future self is a forward step in building the life you desire, the life you were meant to have. The life we live is a result of a complex network of conscious and unconscious thoughts, emotions and responses. 

I can see how a lot of my previous attempts at change failed. I spent so much time focused on how I was going to do all the stuff on my to do list. I was too busy to notice the thoughts, feelings and responses that were so deeply ingrained and kept me in my old habits. Being constantly busy is a great avoidance technique – but of course we don’t know it at the time.

Old outdated thoughts on repeat create beliefs – and they are unconsciously driving us back to old patterns and behaviours. The majority of the time we are unaware of them. So few of our thoughts are conscious and the unconscious runs the show.

I sat on the brink of change for years. Rooted in this place of ‘I know there must be something different out there for me, but I cannot seem to get to it’. I’d get a little taste of it, and it felt good to accomplish my goal, but I would find myself back in my old patterns and behaviours – demolishing a packet of cookies, not following up on promises to myself, losing sight of my goals…

That little ‘taste of it’ though, can be the REAL YOU – the YOU that you really want! I am not talking about the ‘you’ that starved herself thin for a few months at a time.

The old unwanted patterns and behaviours are from a ‘conditioned’ you. The YOU that has adapted to the modelling and messaging you received in childhood and beyond. You likely won’t remember much about how you learned these unwanted patterns. Some of them were coping behaviours in response to a situation, and they likely served a purpose at the time.

This article will help you to understand why it’s so hard to stick to new habits and achieve your goals. 

HABIT BRAIN

Modern day human beings spend a lot of time running from the unconscious part of our brain – I reference this as the HABIT BRAIN. 

Your brain uses a huge amount of energy as we go about life and the habit brain is there to ensure you don’t spend energy that may be needed later. Our system is equipped to ensure we survive, not THRIVE! 

We have so many modern day wonders that weren’t available to our predecessors –  but the brain really hasn’t evolved from cavemen times. There is less survival threat such as famine in the world today- and for the most part we don’t have to prepare ourselves for big stressors such as a grizzly approaching as we rummage for food!

Your HABIT BRAIN does everything it can to avoid change. It is it’s job to keep you doing exactly what you have always done. It will scream bloody murder to keep you from change!  If it gets just a whiff of discomfort, it’s going to do everything in its power to hold you back. It’s sneaky because it works unconsciously – and it shows up as RESISTANCE.

How did I get here?

Imagine you have promised yourself from now on you will become that person who ‘only eats 1 cookie’ or perhaps you are determined you will ‘step away from your work to have a nice relaxed lunch to refuel for the afternoon’. You have every intention of following through and know this new habit will help you reach your goals.

Then you receive a phone call – your son is at the school office, he had a fall, or your boss wants to see you in his office pronto.

As you deal with the unexpected stress-feeding yourself suddenly becomes unimportant. You grab your bag and head to the school and your relaxed lunch is forgotten.

You spend the afternoon UNKNOWINGLY confirming to yourself that you’ll never change, you never have time for lunch, it’s merely a luxury for the rich and famous. Before you know it you’ve eaten 4 chocolate chip cookies in the car on the way to the school – partly because you are ravenous and partly to dull the pain of breaking your promises to yourself – and of course the stress and responsibility of taking care of your child.

All of this happened from your unconscious brain – but likely the only conscious thing you notice is the heavy traffic on the way to the school, and the egg sized bruise on your son’s forehead.

You are back in the office and it’s 3.30pm and you feel sleepy. Your concentration is low and you wonder if you’ll ever get finished for the day. You were so busy trying to do the ‘important’ things in your life that you forgot you hadn’t eaten! The sun begins to go down. You are not working at your best and you begin snapping at your colleagues (or the dog, who is nuzzling you, a reminder that the pair of you have not had a peep of nature yet today). 

Then suddenly comes the undeniable hunger. There is no time to cook. You feel starving… you can fill in the rest…

These everyday situations go on unconsciously in the HABIT BRAIN. It keeps on ensuring you respond as you always respond. The negative thoughts are creating feelings of unworthiness. The voice in your head is talking to you like your old (emotionally wounded) history teacher used to, and you believed it, even though you had no idea at the time. 

Your HABIT BRAIN will keep telling you the same stories, unless you allow the stories to move out of the unconscious and replace them with new conscious ones.

This is why staying committed to new behaviours that support your highest goals can be so tough. You are not broken, you are human. 

If you want to change, you MUST become aware of what is going on in your unconscious thoughts. Please note this is a whole lot different to going on a diet!

Getting super clear on what your FUTURE LIFE looks like is the FIRST STEP to changing habits FOR GOOD – and transforming your life.