In today’s media, it often appears that diet culture has become the new ‘health and wellness’ for those looking to lose some pounds.

The idea of loving Your body just as it is, without the condition of losing weight, appears to have become an unrealistic, and limiting goal.

This belief has become so deeply ingrained in the world, that the idea of putting aside weight loss to focus on self-love & self-compassion is often not even a conscious possibility. I feel so sad that so many women have grown to believe they are probably never going to love their bodies. 

Loving your body is your true nature!

Take a moment right now, and just imagine what it would feel like to simply LOVE YOURSELF AND YOUR BODY, without any conditions. No thoughts about weight loss, shaping up or changing the way your body looks on the outside.

What would it really feel like to wake up in the morning feeling free of a weight focused mindset?

Unconditional body love goes way deeper than the size & shape of your body. In fact, it really has nothing to do with the way you look!

Let me ask another question. What IF your unwanted weight, was in fact here to help you learn to love yourself?

I learned that my weight challenges were here to wake me up. They were a message from the wisdom of life, calling on me to listen. And when I didn’t ‘hear’ the little ‘knock on the door’, the symptoms and challenges got LOUDER.

UNITL I DID HEAR IT.

For years, my body had been trying to get my attention. I had no idea that the less I noticed these little messages, the more weight came on.

It was as though, while I was not listening, my body ‘cranked up the volume’  by sending more unwanted symptoms. My weight & my inability to lose it and keep it off, my endless attempts at getting thin were sure signs that I didn’t accept my body as it was. 

This was all my body’s way of communicating with me, my body’s attempt at reconnecting and rebuilding the Mind-Body connection we started out with. For years!

My poor body was working so hard at loving and taking care of me, but I didn’t love it back 🙁

DISCOVERING SELF LOVE & RESPECT

Hitting rock bottom came before I finally found a way to course-correct, and I began to listen to the ‘whispers from beyond’.

A little woo-wee perhaps, but I would take some woo all over again, rather than continue on the path of attempting to hate myself thin.

In the beginning, learning to love myself, while finding self compassion for all the attempts at forcing myself into a thinner vessel was so hard. In fact it was SCARY! 

Letting go of control was tough, and having someone walk the path with me made the difference. Having support helped me to take a step back, creating space to see the bigger picture.

I began to realise, all the quick fixes were incredibly LONG fixes, because I had been heading in the opposite direction to where I wanted to go.

I realised I had to change my approach, and this thought kept coming to my mind…

“If it’s taken 30 years of dieting & ‘quick fixes’ to bring me to this unloving & unhappy place, and I am still not thin, then why not relax a little & see what happens?”.

Slowly, I began to love & respect my body. 

I began to connect with my body, instead of cursing it.

My life experience is a huge contrast to my dieting days. It has led me to understand more about how bodies function and communicate, and it just gets better. The more love I have, the more love I feel 🙂

Unconditional self love is the outcome of understanding how your body & mind works. The importance of knowing yourself inside out, your physical & emotional needs, values, what makes you feel alive, your character strengths, passions, and your purpose.

If you have a history of weight and body image challenges, having a deep unconditional love for your body is CRUCIAL to live a life free from weight focused goals and dieting. 

Put another way, you MUST let go of dieting in order to make room for self love.

Loving your body is your true nature, if you don’t feel deep love & appreciation for yourself & your body, it is not your fault.

At some point in your life you became separated. A moment of separation from your attachment (or big person), is the beginning of learning to detach from self. 

The good news is, you can reconnect your body & mind.

WHAT IS UNCONDITIONAL BODY LOVE?

Loving your body goes much deeper than liking what you see in the mirror.

Body love doesn’t have to mean posting pictures in a bikini for the world to see, but it does mean looking past what you see as imperfections. 

You will likely encounter some discomfort before trusting, respecting and listening. I did. 

Loving your body is different to obsessing about its shape and size. It’s respecting your body enough to not put it through the unhealthy, restrictive dieting and grueling workouts with the sole purpose of burning calories. It’s fueling your body with nourishment that supports optimal function without perfection, leaving room for fun & pleasure that feed your soul. 

Practicing unconditional love is what keeps you from getting sucked down the yo-yo diet rabbit hole. It’s an imperfect and often challenging practice, but worth it. 

Now I understand the importance of approaching my body in this lighter way, I can see how it’s entirely possible to love yourself, and see beyond the refection in the mirror. 

MAKE UNCONDITIONAL SELF LOVE A CHOICE

The difference between beating up on yourself at what perhaps wasn’t the best choice in a given moment, and noticing that your body is not meant to be some kind of perfect, is self love.

Making choices depending on what is happening in a moment, and then that moment is gone and it is time to move on – is self love.

Not every choice is necessarily the best one, and that is OK. Notice, forgive, accept and move on.

Recognise ‘CHOICE’ for what it is. Sometimes it’s OK to fill up on foods that help you feel better at this time. You always have a choice. When mind and body are connected, this two way respect goes both ways.

This brings calm & ease which supports digestion, your metabolism works more efficiently when you are relaxed. It takes away the focus on the science such as calories in calories out, which is hugely stressful for any body. You are not designed to count or measure, you have a perfectly imperfect system that tells you when to work, eat, rest and play. 

PERFECTIONISM

Perfectionism is a killer of self love and acceptance. We do not live in a perfect world and body image is a big business. We are taught from a very young age that we need to look and be a certain way. If it wasn’t for this perfectionistic business, we would all be enjoying sweet body love and acceptance, and there would be far fewer weight challenges.

I have heard body love being described as similar to the love you have for a child. You don’t always like everything your child says or does, and some days it’s very hard to even like being around them, but you still unconditionally love your child, want the best for them, and always aim to treat them with respect.

Unconditional body love is accepting that your body is the vehicle that carries you through life, not the determining factor for if you are worthy and acceptable to others. 

WHAT DOES LOVING YOUR BODY MEAN TO YOU?

I changed my beliefs around what loving my body actually meant. 

I committed to loving my body even if I didn’t receive praise or approval. 

I committed to loving my body even when I wasn’t in tip-top shape. 

I committed to loving my body even when I needed to gain weight over what I deemed acceptable. 

I no longer expect anything from my body in exchange for this, I just simply love, honor, and listen as best I can.

Some days are harder than others, and occasionally I may look in the mirror and think I could do with losing a pound or two, or perhaps my jeans may feel a little snug. Instead of thinking about dieting or restricting my way back to feeling good, I consider what experience my body is having, and how I can offer myself more self love.

Unconditional body love is a commitment I plan on keeping, despite what society tries to tell me.

It’s entirely possible to love yourself, and NOT be OK with the size of your jeans.

Dig deep my friends.